Thursday, September 14, 2006

The B-Side Fest Continues

It is continuing today. I have been listening to Prince's B-Sides for about 2 days now. It is OK because I am slamming out applications for different jobs while I still waiting for a response from that unmentionable pack of slow ass civil servants a state over. Damn!

The day has been peppered with affirmations that my creative sap is rising, if not my survival skills concerning being a freelancer. I started to make a list of all the people I know. So, I am ready to play cards. If I have learned anything over the last 6 years it is that your prosperity in life depends heavily upon those that surround you. And, on the flip side, you can gauge your emotionally state through those you choose to be friends or lovers with . . . if your life is a revolving door. So it is important to chose the right folk or you might as well be alone.

OK. Enough of the soap box.

I saw Noah's Arc, Project Runway and Million Dollar "Something" tonight. So it is late, needless to say. I like these shows because they reflect the things I am going through creatively, sexually and financially. I guess it is best summed up by a need for a greater understanding in all of those areas and how I operate. Noah's Arc is cool, but it is more like watching a comic book adventure series like captain America or Bullwinkle from the '70's-- or a television novela -- than a serious drama. The way they collectively resolved the Guy storyline was boring. No! I am sorry it was sophomoric. They should have just not attempted to do it at all, but I am not that frustrated . . . let's march on to the next comic filled frame next Wednesday . . . though I am wondering if Noah's accident/conflict/crisis will bring a necessary character shift, which it must, through all common sense when it comes to good writing.

I want to see something unexpected on Noah's Arc, otherwise we will be left with two dimensional action figures of black gay life and love, which is not a bad thing with all that hot Nubian beauty they prance in front of the camera, but a little krptonite would be cute too. Maybe that is why I like the show, I am trying to figure out where I fit in, and I don't see it exactly. But the bigger question is why I am searching for myself on LOGO. I think it is being thrown back into a market driven economy where I should receive my subliminal signals of belonging and cues for what to buy at the mall through television. It has been almost 2 years since I have been back, and it is very difficult to resist the advertised candy.

And on Project Runway . . . Laura won! Great! I think she is a very interesting woman. My bet is that Uli will be kicked off in the next round. But who knows? It is so very much about what people like and don't like. It would take a total lack of judgment for the judges to kick Michael off, he could thread a wad of Dax hair wax on elongated buffalo tendons and call it charmeuse and dem bitches would love it. But I don't hate the brother, I love that they love him, it is just that the competition is so stiff now. Jeffery and Laura are impeccable to me too. Uli is just into the sun dress, that is all she can do . . . which reminds me to tell you guys something about Germany when I a bit well rested.

The last thing I want to mention is my post on August 25, where I said that my grandfather would have had no problem figuring out that ad. I have changed my mind. I wonder what he would have thought, seeing that I never meet him, I just grew up with the legacy of his activism around me. He was one of those armed deacons that guarded Martin Luther King when he visited Mount Olive Baptist church in Anniston, Alabama and he was big on urging people to pay the poll tax in order to vote. There is a part of me that understands what level of comprehension my grandfather's actions required, but then there is the question of sexuality, nudity, play, male bonding and the second World War. What would have been his perspective sans Derrida? That is the true question, and could I ever know for certain what his thinking dictated to himself internally verses what he expressed externally. I know that he was worried about raising soft men, but is that the same as a faggot? Is it being feminine or is it the fucking?

I wonder.

I have depicted him in fiction before, maybe I should try and sketch it out.

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