Wednesday, January 18, 2006

In Anticipation of Torture

Woke up at 7:00. I had a 8:40 appointment with a dermatologist. I found another cyst on my head. Cost of the visit: $116. Now, I think I spent 10 minutes with this guy. He basically told me that the first cyst should just stay their because drainage may cause it to do some freaky shit. Plus hair has already grown over it. The second one is hairless and I look like I have some strange fungus in my head. The doctor said that my hair should grow back in about 6 months and since it has shrunken since the night I discovered it, dressed as a monk, drunk and passed out on my couch on Halloween night, there is no worry. So this news is priceless. I visualized lots of blood and people running around with suction machines and me asking for more shots of local anesthetic like the kidney biopsy that some Columbia doctor preformed on me a couple of years ago (at one point I confessed that I was an alien and he could find my kidneys in my elbow, and if he pinched my left pinky a little door would open up on my arm . . . they just could not find my kidneys, my lower back muscles were so thick it was moving the little wire needle); or the time last May when I had a rotten tooth and this dentist situated in my neighborhood shattered the tooth into three pieces trying to extract it, the assistant nurse had to leave the room because she got sick to the stomach, there were bits of tooth on the tip of my tongue and tons of blood; and, then there was the time I had malaria and they had to take a bone marrow sample and the resident or young doctor at the hospital in New Brunswick, NJ stuck a rod in my pelvis and then pulled the thick metal hollow tube out like he was trying to dislodge a car door and I laid immobile in my own bone marrow. I used to have a phobia to doctors, but after all the test, and prodding, and the catheter coming out of my stomach every three days now, I face the fact that I will bleed and be in pain like a victim of the inquisition. The problem I have is surrendering my body to other people that I should trust and them fuckin' up. And, to watch them try to guise the "transaction that has just transpired" in an aloft and clinical language dumbfounds me. Their faces always betray them. But many times, if it is a young doctor I feel bad for them. They have to present themselves to others and talk in a professional manner and then maybe try something they have never done before. Its humanity no? They didn't do it on purpose. That is the human part of it, they are really trying to help (except for that masochistic dentist!).

Sorry, new readers I am not so gory normally, but that was what was running through my mind this morning in the snow.

It snowed last night!

Now it is melting. But there you go, proof that it is cold in Tennessee. And before the weather got really crazy, there were real snow storms. The last one here was 2003, but they were always regular before global warming of whatever is going on. Most of my birthdays were snow days growing up.

That's all for today I guess. The post from the last couple of days took up some of my time. Now, there really is nothing else to report except that my diet is changing to Smoothies and Coffee . . . wonderful combination . . . all the nutrients that I piss out due to coffee's diuretic nature are replenished with vitamins and more water. All that nice vitamin stuff plus big bad caffeine gives me tons of energy.

Vrrrummm! Vrrrummm!

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